I once heard that some women have some sort of hormone in their body that makes them forget child birth, otherwise they would never be able to do it again. I definitely think I am one of those women. From the days following delivery there are many parts of the process that I don’t remember. As time has gone on things have started to become even more fuzzy, which is why I think it’s about time I write this story. It is a day I want to remember.
Ramona’s story starts on March 2, 2015. I was 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant. As I was getting ready in the morning, I noticed some spotting. In the past this meant bedrest but since I was nearly full term this time there was no stress or urgency associated with it. After a quick google search I learned that it was probably the start of labor, but could be another day 0r weeks before anything happened.
Almost everything was ready. The nursery was put together, her clothes were washed, the hospital bag was packed. There was just one last thing. My spring garden had not yet been planted. With the feeling that it could be any moment our day was spent at the nursery. I found all the plants my garden was lacking and found myself in the garage at 9:00 at night frantically potting all my flowers. Hindsight– I was crazy nesting. Only half way done but beyond exhausted I decided to call it a night and finish in the morning.
It was now 10:00 PM and I am laying beside Bobby in bed. He is sleeping and I start to feel light cramps. Are these contractions? Is this what I’m supposed to be feeling for? I honestly have no idea. I then start to feel Romy hiccuping, which she did often but this time they are more intense than ever. I wake Bobby so he can feel them as well. As his hand is on my belly I hear a strange pop and suddenly become warm. I instantly knew what had just happened. “My water just broke!” I yelled as I ran to the bathroom. I was suddenly frozen by fear and didn’t know what to do. I literally started to cry “I don’t want to do this!” I told bobby.
We arrived at the hospital at about 10:30 PM. By the time I had arrived I went from light cramping to OUCH-OK this is definitely labor! I was 3 CM dilated and the pain was really starting to set in. This is the point where things start to become a bit hazy. I almost feel as though it were an out of body experience, like I could look down and see myself clinging to the side of the bed in pain. When I should have gotten my epidural the anesthesiologist was in an emergency surgery and I had to wait. The wait was painful, my husband says he had never seen me in that kind of pain before. I know it was bad in the moment, but looking back it doesn’t really seem that terrible. Bobby looks at me like I’m crazy every time I tell him that.
I am terrified of needles. My biggest fear about childbirth was getting the epidural. By the time I was finally able to get it, (1:30 AM and 4 CM dilated) I was so excited for some relief I didn’t think twice. Here’s the kicker- I was still in pain. 15 minutes later, 30 minutes later, 45 minutes later. I felt as if my nurse wasn’t taking me seriously- I have an epidural and my contractions were getting worse! Finally an hour later I asked her to please check me because the pain is sooooo bad. In the hour since getting my epidural I went from 4 CM to 10. She was in shock. “Oh my god, no wonder you are in so much pain! You are complete!” With that she called the anesthesiologist back to up my dosage.
By now it is 3:00 AM and I am FINALLY free of pain. The epidural has begun to work and my Dr. arrives to check up on me. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see her familiar face walk through the door. At this point I assume it’s time to push. She informs me that while I am 10 CM dilated the baby is still sitting high, so I would be given Oxytocin and would rest until the baby moved down. This would prevent hours of pushing for me. She told me to try and get some rest and I when I started to feel constant pressure down low, to call my nurse.
Over the next few hours Bobby and my mom slept, I of course was not able to. The crazy thing though is I felt like every time I looked at the clock an hour had passed. Time was flying by. About an hour in I start to feel my contractions again. They aren’t super painful, but I feel them. I tell my nurse. “But do you feel constant pressure?” she asks. I didn’t feel pressure per say so off she went. Another hour passes and the contractions have become super painful again. I call my nurse. She asks the same question. Still no pressure, just pain. I ask her to check me, because the pain is so bad. She looks, and what do you know, I’m ready to go.
It is nearly 6:00 AM and in walks my doctor. I tell her that the pain is really bad, assuming they would up my epidural again. Nope- it’s time to push! My first thought was that if my contractions are painful now, pushing is going to kill. My second thought is- I have to do this quick then. Before we start she has bobby take a look- Romy’s head is already there and we can see her little head of dark hair. Bobby looks, then looks at me “There is so much blood.” Thanks Bobby! We push through two contractions and she is out! It was so quick, and surprisingly once we began to push the pain disappeared.
The moment she was born I nervously awaited her first cry. It took a while and the way the doctor was holding her below me I could not see her. It felt like a very long time- she was finally here and I just wanted to see her. A moment later she is placed on my chest where she laid skin to skin. She let out a little wimper that was such a soft little cry. I hold her, telling her it was okay and I stared at her little face for the first time. She looked like my sister to me.
The whole thing was so surreal, I felt as if it was a dream. This tiny baby was inside of my belly literally 5 minutes ago. I survived. I faced my biggest fear in life. I am a mom. Life is pretty crazy.